It’s time for the holidays and you are already feeling the strain

It is the holiday season.
You walk into stores and see red and green decor everywhere. The music is cheerful and Christmas themed. Lights are strung across neighborhoods. Decorations appear on lawns. Everywhere you turn, you can feel the countdown to Christmas beginning.

Maybe you visited the mall and saw Santa or watched families take photos with him. As Thanksgiving passed, perhaps you indulged in a Christmas movie where the theme centers on connection, love and delight.

None of this is inherently bad. Yet you may notice the pressure to enjoy everything, to find meaning in every moment, and to feel a very specific type of joy during this season.

Like you, many people feel like imposters when the expected holiday happiness does not come naturally. You may wonder why you do not feel the joy you think you should. I want you to know you are not alone. The holiday season is an emotionally difficult time for many people. The pressure of this time of year often affects how we cope, and those coping strategies can sometimes make it harder to access any real sense of enjoyment.

I want to share some of the most common experiences I see in my practice related to anxiety during the Christmas season. My hope is that as you read, you will feel understood and supported, and that you will consider giving yourself permission to see this season through a new perspective.

The Pressure to Feel Happy

One of the most common stressors people experience during the holiday season is the pressure to be happy. Many people do not genuinely feel that level of happiness. Instead, they try to present happiness or perform joy in order to convince themselves or others that everything is fine.

You may find yourself acting more cheerful than you really feel, making light of things, or trying to be the fun and joyful version of yourself you think others expect. On the surface this does not seem harmful, yet it often masks real emotions. The more we hide our true feelings, the more miserable we tend to become. This creates a cycle that increases distress and becomes difficult to break.

What you might notice when you are trying to hard to be happy:

When we repeatedly disconnect from how we truly feel, a few things often happen.
• We lose touch with our real emotions, which makes it harder to identify what we actually need.
• We become confused when our outward happiness feels shallow or forced.
• Our anxiety increases because of the gap between how we appear and how we truly feel.

When the disconnect between our internal and external experiences becomes normal, it becomes harder to accept our real emotions. You may notice thoughts like, Why am I not happy You have every reason to feel good You should not feel this way. These thoughts widen the emotional gap you already feel and increase the pressure to pretend.

There is nothing wrong with not feeling happiness during the Christmas season. If you feel happy all the time, it may actually be a sign that your joy is more performative than genuine. You will feel the difference. Whatever you feel is acceptable and likely makes sense given your life and circumstances. If I can encourage you toward anything, it is to be honest with yourself about how you feel, even if you share it with no one else.

Family Dynamics That Trigger Stress

Another common holiday stressor involves family dynamics. Many people think the stress only begins on the day they see their family, whether that is December twenty fourth, December twenty fifth or another day. In reality, your body identifies the upcoming family gathering as a stressor long before the holiday arrives, and your mind begins preparing for it weeks or even months ahead.

You may notice difficulty sleeping, increased worry or intrusive thoughts about how the gathering will go. You may replay possible conversations in your mind, anticipate questions you do not want to answer, or imagine how certain family members might behave. You may prepare what you will say, what you will avoid discussing, and how you will respond if someone criticizes you. You might obsess over details such as food, timing or logistics.

All of this is part of the ripple effect of stress. The moments spent with family are the most obvious stressor, but the buildup surrounding those moments can be equally exhausting. Your mind and body are trying to protect you, yet the strategies they use can become overwhelming.

There is no amount of preparation that will allow you to feel fully ready. What can help is strengthening your trust in your ability to handle whatever arises in the moment. Your worry is understandable. Your mind is trying to prevent you from feeling further hurt. It simply may be working overtime.

Financial Stress and Gift Giving Pressure

Another major source of holiday anxiety comes from financial stress. Gift giving, hosting and contributing to gatherings can bring pressure that grows quickly. Many people begin to worry about budgets, compare themselves to others, or feel uncertain about what gifts to give. This creates a perfect environment for increased anxiety.

You might notice guilt as you worry about disappointing others, not choosing the right gift or not bringing something impressive enough. You might fear someone criticizing what you worked hard to provide. All of these thoughts understandably raise anxiety levels.

You have the right to set limits around how much you give financially. The financial aspect of the holidays can be draining, and it is important to acknowledge that for yourself. However you choose to show up, let that be enough. If you notice resentment or guilt, it may be a sign that your financial choices are not aligned with your needs. That deserves a compassionate second look.

Conclusion

Whether you are struggling with pressure to feel happy, navigating difficult family dynamics or worrying about financial expectations, your experience makes sense. Your anxiety deserves to be acknowledged without judgment.

You do not need to hide the stress this season brings. You also do not have to manage it alone. If this article resonates with you and you want an anxiety expert by your side to help you navigate the holiday season and beyond, I am here. Together we can work toward a life where anxiety no longer dictates your decisions.

Reach out today to book your free fifteen minute consultation for anxiety counseling in Edmond so you can take the next step on your healing journey.